looking good on paper

These days, it seems everyone is trying to look good on paper.

Thanks, in part, to networks like Pinterest and Instagram, everyone is always trying to seem as though they have it all together. They have the perfect friends, the perfect house, the perfect education, the perfect job, the perfect kids, the perfect spouse…

And it had me thinking.

I’ve known so many people who seem to have it all together, but do they really?

People who post a picture of their husband with a caption about how much they love them and how amazing they are when—five minutes prior—they were screaming at or ridiculing them.

People who talk about how much they hate their job and how miserable it makes them, but the next time you see a post on Facebook, they are talking about how #blessed they are.

People who consistently talk badly about their friends or family, but when it comes to Instagram or Facebook or their blog, they talk about how supportive and wonderful they are.

All I can think is this: What’s the point?

Wouldn’t you rather be real than really full of shit? I know I would.

I can’t say I’m not guilty of the aforementioned crime. While I try to refrain from posting things on social media that I don’t mean, I find myself guilty of trying to look good on paper even if I’m not happy or things seem to be falling apart or I really, really can’t stand the people around me. Like I said before, we all want to have the best job; the best husband or wife; the best kids; the best house on the block. But part of appreciating what you have is acknowledging and admitting that it’s not perfect, and that’s okay. Part of being a real person is admitting when you’re having a hard day or being real with your friends instead of putting on a mask. It’s being honest about who you are.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are fake. As Dom said to me recently about a not-so-fun situation I’ve been dealing with, “Being nice because you want people to like you isn’t the same thing as being nice.”

Even when you seem to be the nicest person around with the sweetest family and the most money and the best friends, there’s always a background story. We can’t be perfect, so why bother lying to everyone’s faces? Why try to prove how extraordinary you are on an imaginary paper nobody is really reading when, in reality, the paper is a little wrinkled from wear and maybe has a few tears or coffee stains? Being real is what makes you relatable. Being honest is what makes you likable.

In this so-called journey to self-discovery I’ve been on, I’ve been working on not always trying so hard to have the wrinkle-free, tear-free, stain-free paper. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not when I meet people just so they like me. I’m not going to ever pretend that Isla never cries; never whines; is always perfect. I’m not going to say I have the perfect marriage because, in reality, none of us do or ever will.

While I am so glad with where I’m at and that I’m learning every day how to have a fulfilled life, I’m going to stop trying to look good on paper.

And start trying to look good in real life, imperfect days and all.